WELCOME TO BEAM IS A DICK. NOW GO AWAY.

I don’t eat either. It’s called a cleanse. You don’t see me bragging about it, so shut up and have some salami.

God I hate Ghandi.

I am Beam and this is what you do not know about me: while you have your eyes closed and are basking in the sunshine, I will slit your windpipe. Sleep tight. Also, I like puppies.